Fourth Story: His god

-130-
Sanzou- Shoot!
…rock …rock …rock …scissors. sorry Goku, you lose. that means you get to carry aaaaaaallll the baggage. lucky boy.
Goku- Just how far do we have to walk? I'm beat!! {8th loss in a row}
Hakkai- Far enough to clear this rocky terrain, since Jeep can't traverse it.
looking out aa~~~nd… no end in sight. good thing you're a strong boy, Goku.
Goku- Hakuryuu~~~~~~!! Figure out how to change into something other than a jeep! Now!
Hakuryuu- Pi~~ Pi~~
Gojyo- Sense~~i, the animals are picking on each other.
Hakkai and Sanzou ignore that particular remark. Goku's too busy ranting at Jeep to notice.
Sanzou- We keep going this slow and the sun'll set before we're out of these mountains.

-131-
they round a bend in the steep stone and come smack up against a huge, upward cliff. fortunately, its also got a huge Buddhist temple carved into it. maybe there's a way through.
Hakkai- Perhaps we should ask them if we could stay for the night.
Gojyo- Christ, that's one helluva extravagant temple.
Hakkai- Hello~~~~?

-132-
Snooty Monk- What do you want?!
Hakkai- We're simple travelers. Would you be kind enough to let us stay for the night?
Snooty Monk- Hmph. This is a holy and sanctified temple. Unordained peasants are absolutely forbidden entry.
Gojyo flicks the finger up at Mr. Holier-than-thou.
Gojyo- Damn, now that is why I hate priests.
Sanzou- News to me.
Hakkai- This does present a problem. ::hmmmm::
Goku- I'm starving! Do something, Sanzou---

-133-
the Snooty Monk jumps like someone just poked him in the butt with something sharp.
Snooty Monk- Did you say Sanzou?!  //thinking// Now that you mention it, that man over there is attired much like Koumyo Sanzou, when he yet lived. He's carrying a Tenchi Kaigen Kyuumon. Then there's that crimson mark on his forehead, a symbol of the chosen of the gods…
Snooty Monk- …could it be… Genjou Sanzou Houshi?!!
Snooty Monk2- What?!

-134-
Snooty Monk- I most humbly beg your pardon! We will open the gates at once!
as promised, the huge double doors begin to swing inward immediately. Hakkai, Gojyo and Goku spend a second blinking in surprise at the priests' sudden change of demeanor before walking in. the temple's interior is as starkly extravagant as the exterior, the wide corridors edged with simple yet elegant decoration. Gojyo gives an impressed whistle and Hakkai gawks politely.
Hakkai- My, it's quite spacious inside as well.
Goku- //thinking// It reeks of incense.
Snooty Monk- This way, please.

-135-
all the monks of the temple stand at rigid attention, lined up smartly with a wide aisle leading up to a low dais where three elderly monks sit. the undoubted haste of the summons is nowhere in evidence.
Elder Monk- Greetings, Genjou Sanzou Houshi, and be welcome. We are overjoyed that you deign to visit an old temple such as ours.
Sanzou- … My thanks for your hospitality. {doesn't mean it}
fairly dull rituals of greeting and formal pleasantries ensue. the other three Guys stand awkwardly off to the side, quite out of place.
Gojyo- Hey Hakkai. Does this mean Sanzou is really some sort of Lord Priest or Monk Prince or something?
Hakkai- It's not so much Sanzou himself so much as the power of the name "Sanzou". In our world there are five "Tenchi Kaigen Kyuuten", the Creation Sutras.

-136-
Hakkai- The five people chosen to bear the Sutras are given the name "Sanzou". It's the symbol of the highest rank a Buddhist monk can aspire to.
Gojyo- So what the hell is that rotten monk doing as a "Sanzou"? Buddha's the last thing he believes in.
Hakkai- … I'm not certain myself.
Elder Monk- Actually, Koumyo Sanzou Hoshi himself graced this temple with his presence a little over ten years ago. His solemn and decorous figure is still burned into my memory. Your Holiness truly resembles him.

-137-
Elder Monk- We had received word that Your Holiness, his beloved disciple, had succeeded him as "Genjou Sanzou"…
alright, enough of this. Sanzou is getting bored.
Sanzou- Sorry to interrupt, but passing through the rock fields in a single day is a little difficult, so we request a night's lodging here.
Snooty Monk- Of course! We will most gladly allow you to pass the night here. However…
he shoots a sidelong glance over at the other three Guys. they, at least, are still not welcome.
Snooty Monk- This is a most holy and sanctified temple. Before today none other than the ordained have been allowed entry. I'm afraid your companions don't look like proper monks…

-138-
Gojyo- What? Monks are okay but regular folks aren't allowed in? What kind of place is this?! A five-star restaurant?! {cut me a break!}
Hakkai- Gojyo, hush!
Sanzou- Not my problem.
Goku- I knew you'd say that!
Hakkai- These people are very devout in their faith.
Gojyo- Don't you mean devout in their paranoia?
Snooty Monk- Are these gentlemen your disciples?
Sanzou- Nope. My servants. {statement of fact}

-139-
Snooty Monk- Aah. That makes sense.
{Goku & Gojyo- KILL!!}
Hakkai- Calm down, now. Caa~lm.
Snooty Monk- Then, in deference to the will of His Holiness, we will include his three servants in the feast preparations.
and a feast it is, with definite Chinese flavor. dim-sum, tofu, spring rolls, the works. it's even enough to satisfy Goku.
Goku- urp. I'm stuffed. That was good.

-140-
Hakkai- What a lovely room this is.
it is a nice one, sprawlingly huge and sparsely elegant, just like the rest of the temple. and this time everyone has proper beds, too.
Gojyo- Yep! And it's all thanks to His Worshipful Holiness Genjou Sanzou here, right?
Sanzou- I'll kill you.
a skinny little boy who can't be more than 9 or 10 years old comes in, teacups balanced on a tray. he's shaven bald and dressed in monk's robes, a temple apprentice.
Yoh- My apologies for barging in, but I have been granted the responsibility of assisting you in any way this evening. My name is Yoh. Please make yourselves at home. {all smiles}
Gojyo- Dammit, can't you let a pretty girl at least set the table? {Gojyo's disappointed}
Yoh- gasp! How terribly unclean---! This is a holy and sanctified temple! Women are absolutely forbidden entry.

-141-
he spins around joyfully to face Sanzou.
Yoh- Isn't that right, Your Holiness?
Sanzou- Wha'cha looking at me for?
Yoh- I never believed my lowly self would ever make the acquaintance of a Sanzou! I'm so grateful to Buddha! {Happy Happy Land}
you can see the stars of idol worship twinkling in his eyes. the boy's on cloud nine. Sanzou's eyes, however, are starting to roll skyward.
Yoh- A Sanzou has been personally chosen by Buddha himself! We disciples all revere a Sanzou as one step below Buddha!
::Goku- snicker::
Sanzou- izzat so.
you can tell Sanzou's just thrilled to bits by that particular revelation.
Yoh- Please rest and enjoy yourselves. I have other duties I must perform, but should you require anything, feel free to summon me.
no sooner is Yoh out the door than…
Goku & Gojyo- I wanna show him Sanzou blasting the brains out of a youkai!
Hakkai- {now, now} I guess in his case, "ignorance is bliss".
{Sanzou- humph.}

-142-
the rest of the temple is blissful in its ignorance as well.
Monk- What an unexpected blessing, His Holiness Koumyo Sanzou and his heir Genjou Sanzou both grace our temple with their presences! This cannot be other than the will of Buddha.
Monk- Yes. It's a great blessing!
Chanting- han nya ha ra mi dda… han nya ha ra mi dda…

some time later, back in the Guys' room, empty beer cans sit here and there, a couple of which are presently serving as well-used ash trays…
Goku- Aw maa~~an, I'm hungry again!

-143-
…and the evening's umpteenth mahjong game, the Asian equivalent to poker, is under way.
Goku- The only stuff they've got to eat here is all beans and veggies.
Hakkai- That can't be helped. Monks are vegetarians. ::mostly, anyway:: {serious Hakkai}
Gojyo- I'm gonna reek of incense for a week.
Sanzou- We're out of here in the morning. Live with it 'til then. Lon.
something must have filtered out and tipped Yoh off, because he bangs the room's door open, all in a tizzy.
Yoh- What are your lordships doing?!
Gojyo- Mahjong.
he says it as if it's the most normal thing in the world, which it mostly is.

-144-
Yoh- Uwa! Your Holiness, smoking is forbidden!
Sanzou- Yeah, and?
Gojyo- Interruption penalty, 1 beer. Down it, kiddo. {here ya go, Party Pooper Boy}
Yoh- AAAAAAAAH! You brought beer?!
the poor kid is reeling from the sheer amount of taboo stuff the guys hauled in with them, but he's got enough wits about him to try to do something about it.
Yoh- I-- I must confiscate this!
he grabs a bag. given that the bag is meant for an adult and a long journey, the thing is huge and brim-full of stuff. likely Gojyo's stuff, since, when Yoh tries to lift it by one side, things start falling out. things like beer, saké, some videos with ..erm, compromising covers and a magazine that even Goku is technically too young to read. Yoh nearly passes out from shock.

-145-
a remarkably short time is all it takes for the room to be plastered with "no smoking, no drinking" signs, courtesy of the Snooty Monk from earlier.
::Gojyo- dammit!::
Snooty Monk- Unbelievable. A Sanzou is a personage of exalted rank. Why on earth would one such as he associate with such lowborn, filthy rabble--
shouldn't have said that out loud and where Sanzou could hear you, hon. Sanzou's hand slams into the wall beside the Snooty Monk's head, and he gets fixed with one of Sanzou's nastier stares.
Sanzou- By the way... I'm thirsty.

-146-
Snooty Priest- Of course, Your Holiness! I shall bring some tea immediately!
Sanzou- Thanks.
the snooty priest beats a hasty retreat, Sanzou's less-than-pleased expression chasing him out.
Goku- What just happened?
Gojyo- Who knows.
feeling a little bit better, Yoh, putters about in the background, just generally neatening the room.
Hakkai- By the way, Yoh, has this temple had any problems with youkai recently?
Yoh- Of course not. This temple has the divine protection of the Buddha. It is impossible for beasts or monsters to approach it. Our unshakable faith and continuous prayers assure that.

-147-
Goku- So you don't have any weapons or anything stored away, just in case?
Yoh- Most certainly not. Killing is against the Buddha's way.
Gojyo- Yeesh. Blind morons.
Hakkai- Which is all the more reason why we should not stay here any longer than necessary.
Yoh stares, not understanding a thing. but, polite boy that he is, he finishes his chores and leaves quietly. the Guys are stuck waiting out the night, dreaming of things lost for, oh, it has to be a couple hours now.
Goku- Beef---

-148-
Goku- pork---- chicken---- fish----
Gojyo- women--- booze--- smokes---
Hakkai- You two are certainly steeped in your worldly pleasures.
Goku- Hey, where'd Sanzou go?
Hakkai- He was summoned by the Elder Monk just a little while ago.
Goku- At this hour?
Jeep perks up like something bit him, then starts peeping in alarm.
Hakkai- Jeep?

-149-
THOOM
something hits the temple hard enough to shake even the Guys' upper floor room. Goku jumps up and peers out the window, trying to see what happened. Hakkai doesn't need to look outside to know. An air of malignance wafted into the room shortly after the thud.
Hakkai- //thinking// Youkai energy!
Goku- Don't tell me, another assassin?
Hakkai- Unfortunately, that seems to be the case.

-150-151-
where there was once a solid wall, there is now a nice-sized hole. a single youkai, dressed somewhat oddly, poses in the gap. why he couldn't have broken open the doors, which probably would have been much easier, I don't know. however, this particular youkai has a high enough opinion of himself that I guess he just felt like showing off. let's call him Mr. Egotistical.

Egotistical Youkai- So this is where you're hiding, Genjo Sanzou! Under orders from Kougaiji-sama, I'm here to chop you to bits!!
coming to inspect the source of the noise, a gaggle of monks stand around gape-mouthed, "youkai" + "inside the temple" taking some time to compute. they get it eventually.
Monks- Youkai! A youkai is in the temple!! UWAAAAAAAAA!!! Run!!!
pressed up against a corner, another stack of blankets in his arms, Yoh stares in shock.
Egotistical Youkai- ooooh, looks like this place is crawling with juicy-looking monks, too.

-152-
one monk doesn't run away quite fast enough. the egotistical youkai reaches out a hand and picks the poor sap up by the skull. blood splats across the floor. trying to stay small and unnoticed, Yoh huddles in a shadowed corner, praying for rescue.
Yoh- //praying// Lord Buddha, please save us!! Lord Buddha…. ANYBODY… HELP!!

-153-
elsewhere in the temple, where the fuss hasn't quite reached yet, Sanzou stands in front of a trio of monks, all of whom are wearing that oozy smile that says they want something.
Sanzou- What is it you wanted to talk to me about? {NOT in a good mood}
Elder Monk- We would like to extend our respectful request that Your Holiness stay at our humble temple for an extended period of time…
Sanzou- Actually, I've got pressing business demanding I leave.
Snooty Monk- A month--- no, a week, and we'd be eternally grateful!
Elder Monk- You have been guided to our temple by the hand of Buddha. That is unmistakable. Everyone here has expressed extreme eagerness to hear your sermons.

-154-
Sanzou- Hn. You asked the same thing of Koumyo Sanzou too, didn't you.
Elder Monk- Yes, however, he most politely declined the request.
Sanzou- My master was too nice for his own good. Good night.
and with that, the conversation is over as far as Sanzou's concerned. he turns to leave.
Elder Monk- Your Holiness!
Sanzou looks back, his impatience clearly showing.
Sanzou- How 'bout I tell you something that Koumyo Sanzou Hoshi was too polite to say.

-155-
Sanzou- Don't go pushing your way on everybody just because you're old.
Elder Monk- What did you say?!
Snooty Monk- You go to far, Your Holiness!
::Sanzou- aah shut yer hole already, ya bald dimwit.::
finally, news of the outer rims of the temple filters down to this little gathering, a panicked monk barging into the room.
Panicked Monk- OH, IT'S TERRIBLE!!!

-156-
Elder Monk- Why such a ruckus? You must remember to keep a serene and peaceful demeanor at all times.
Panicked Monk- That isn't the problem, eminence! A youkai has broken into the temple!!
Elder Monk- What?!
Panicked Monk- He keeps yelling "bring out Sanzou and his flunkies", all the while assaulting our brethren one after another!

His god/ END

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