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#4 HERO RETURNS


-101-
several bright lines blaze towards a cloud-dotted planet…

One hundred and fifty years ago------


-102-
….and crash into the surface in bright balls of light.

dozens of burning arrows sank into the surface of this star. They were interstellar colony ships.


-103-
from one wreck come two children, blond boys.
Knives- Can you stand, Vash?
he offers a hand to his sibling, but Vash slaps it away with a growl.
Knives- Ah-ah. What's with you? The two of us, we're the only "siblings" each other has.
Vash- Everything… it's all your fault! Rem… everyone, you killed them all!


-104-
Knives smiles a very evil little smile, wide eyed and insane…
Knives- Yeah. It was so great! Magnificent! Except for however many percent that Rem somehow managed to save, of course.
Vash- Knives… you… you're… inhuman-
passively watching before, Knives turns suddenly violent, striking at his "twin" over and over…
Knives- NO DUH!!! DON'T YOU EVER LIKEN ME TO THOSE FACELESS ANIMALS!! DON'T YOU EVER!!!!


-105-
Vash lies still on the sandy ground, hurting. Knives turns a defiant glare on those ships that are still falling in flaming streaks.
Knives- Just you watch, trash. I'll get rid of you all. On this world, only the two of us will remain in the end.
Vash- //thinking// Rem. Rem…what should I do? What's the right thing for me to do?


-106-
To stars, it's not that far. To humans, eternities will pass. Forgetting brings too much sadness. Reminiscing leads to a never-ending rut of pain.

Vash- //thinking// Rem…… In your memory, I will protect the ones it cost your life to save… Rem……!


-107-
…a blink, and the present returns. 'the present' being a fairly nice hotel room in some nondescript town. somewhere outside Wolfwood wanders the street…


-108-
… passing a coffin-maker busy at work. dozens of completed coffins lay in scattered heaps behind him.
Wolfwood- ………ones for later?
Coffin-maker- …… nope. But when I get done with this one, then I'll start on the ones for later.
::Wolfwood- hmmmmmm::


-109-
morning acknowledged, Vash starts in on his morning routine, which involves one-armed pushups while in a handstand (the cybernetic arm tucked behind his back, of course. to do otherwise would be cheating)…


-110-
…numerous stretches, and at last the Really Cool Gunslinging Training. this particular set involves a blindfold, a crystal wineglass, and several little metal washers hung by string from the ceiling at varying heights. on goes the blindfold and ::fwip::… up goes the glass into the air….


-111-
::clink::… caught by its rim on the very edge of the Colt's barrel, muzzle pointed squarely through the center of one of the washers. a flip of the wrist and the glass is in the air again and again, caught precisely each time, gun's muzzle pointed squarely through the washers, around and around the circle…


-112-
until Vash is satisfied (and very hot and sweaty ^.^). He's allowed only a short respite before Wolfwood returns from his morning walk.
Wolfwood- Heya, Tongari! GYAH! PEEEEEEEYUUUUUUUU!! It's sweltering in here! Can'tcha open a window, blockhead?!
Vash- Yai! I'll catch cold!
Wolfwood- Yes, and? Tongari.
Vash- Just who're you calling "tongari"?
Wolfwood- After I went and humored you by coming so far out of our way to this little hickville!


-113-
Wolfwood- Anyway, speaking of simple things, this burg's split by two warring factions; the Polo family and the Fris family. Rumor has it that the squabble's over the rights to a plant that was excavated about a year ago. Blood spilled to repay blood spilled, back and forth, that sorta thing.
Vash- Excavated?! A plant? It was still alive?
Wolfwood- …… yeah. There was one in the wreck of one of the original colony ships. It's been over 150 years, but the thing's miraculously still working.


-114-
Wolfwood- Plus, depending on how you program it, it'll spit out whatever you want. A veritable magic, living machine. It's thanks to ones like that that we can live here on this sand-blown rock at all. Families will run themselves to ruin if it meant they could get ahold of one of those. So of course, there's already been a lethal showdown over it. At first, it was just between the two families, but more and more of the locals started getting caught up, and it snowballed from there. Each time the number of victims would go up, and the other side would raise the stakes. Now, there are rape-murders going on, upping the tension level by a whole bunch. That's why this whole place is on edge.


-115-
Wolfwood- I mean, just a little bit ago, I was going past the coffin-maker's…. QUIT CRYING!
Vash- But isn't it so sad? Why do things like this have to happen?
Wolfwood- Why do things… you…… We've had this conversation before. Even guys who usually balk at a fight will grab for a gun if one of their relatives gets killed.
Vash- …………
Wolfwood- But anyway, what say we scram before we get dragged into anything annoying.
Vash- No can do. I've got an appointment to keep.
Wolfwood- Wha-huh? With who?
Vash- //singsong// That's a se~~cret.
Wolfwood- Hey, what's up with that? Quit being childish.
Vash- Fair's fair. You're keeping stuff from me, too.
Wolfwood- ………


-116-
somewhere else, who knows how far away or how near, someone skulks down a back alley and slinks into a darkened building. several shady looking characters lounge around a rickety card-table, smoking entirely too many cigarettes. one man clasps his hands together to keep them from shaking too badly.
Weasley Scoundrel- It's me. I've confirmed it. Shidan is leaving here on the next sandsteamer.
Boss Dude- Cool. So we keep going according to schedule. We'll give 'em what for, damn Polo bastards.
something very large, and with a multitude of wheels stands covered with a tarp behind them…


-117-
later, a sandsteamer looking much like a cross between a train's engine car and a submarine rolls swiftly across the open desert.
Orca Class steamer "Mubra"
somewhere in the steamer's bowels, a drunken sot looks disconsolately at his empty whiskey bottle. it's not long, however, before his beady eyes latch onto a suitcase beside a slumbering old man.


-118-
a sneaky hand creeps towards the handle, close enough to grasp it--- a heavy boot comes down on the hand. or, more precisely, the very sharply spiked rowel spur attached to the boot comes down on the poor idiot's hand.
Drunk Idiot- You… you punk!
a pair of surly eyes glare out from the face of a very burly man, arms crossed over his chest as he lounges indolently against the er… hull, of the steamer.
Burly Man- What business've you got touchin' another person's luggage?
Drunk Idiot- eheh… s-s-s-s-s-s-sorry, s-s-sir……
apparently, the soft commotion has woken the old man.
Old Man- yawn… what's all the fuss here…? Oi, Brad! Are you making trouble again?


-119-
Brad- It's not like that, Sensei.
Sensei- Don't make excuses, he's bleeding! Here, let me staunch it.
Brad- Good God. These "outsiders" are a disgusting lot. Why the heck do we have to go to all this trouble---
Sensei- This will be the first time you will meet "Him", correct?
Brad- Nope. I did once when I was 4.
Sensei- Ho ho ho. So this will be just about the first time you will meet the legend. Vash the Stampede…… with which face will you greet us this time?


-120-
…this time around, it's Vash the Clown that greets them, once again in a pretzel-ized heap on the ground at the hands of a child.
Vash- Heya, Sensei! Down here.
Brad- That's him?! The one a kid's got all wrapped up?
Sensei- He hasn't changed a bit. How relieving.
Vash extricates himself from the exuberant kids…
Vash- I'm really sorry about such short notice and all…
Brad- No kidding.
Sensei- Don't spend any more of your energy worrying about it.
Vash- You're------- Brad, right? Wow, you've gotten so big! //turning to the kids// Alright, you guys. I've got to talk to these people, so we're disbanded for today.


-121-
not the right thing to say. before he can blink, Vash is again twisted in knots on the ground.
Bratling 1- What's with this high-'n-mighty tone all of a sudden?!
Bratling 2- You're the henchman! The henchman!
Vash- owowowowowowowOW--- I'm sorry! I apologize!
Brad-   -.-;
rapidly shifting gears back to the hotel, Wolfwood is striding purposefully back to Vash's room…
Wolfwood- Oi, Tongari! I hate to bring up our earlier conversation but… whazzis? Hn, he's gone already.
gone to an entirely different hotel, where Brad and the Sensei are staying.


-122-
Vash- How's the City doing?
the Sensei settles into a chair on the opposite side of the small table from Vash, Brad a hovering and disapproving shadow behind him.
Sensei- It's the same as it's always been, almost like time has stopped its flow it's so peaceful. Just recently, Kain reached level 414. He made your equipment last time, and this time as well.
the mysterious suitcase is pushed across the table to Vash. he pops it open, an shy grin on his face, almost like one of a child getting a present at Christmas.
Vash- ……thanks.
inside rests a nice chunk of cash, a new cybernetic arm, and a new, red coat…


-123-
Sensei- Heat resistant. Cold resistant. It should also have a greater degree of bullet-protection than your former one. It was sewn by a skilled hand, so ease of movement is guaranteed.
Vash- Is it really alright for me…? This incredible equipment…
Brad looms over the seated Vash, a distinctly not-nice frown darkening almost the whole room.
Brad- It's not like we have a choice, do we? Lost Technology for Lost Technology.
Sensei- Take it easy, Brad. //to Vash// Everyone has been very worried, what with no news from you for over two years.
Vash- ……… I'm sorry.
Brad- No biggie. I'm sure to you 2 years is nothing more than the blink of your eye.
Sensei- Will you let it rest, Brad? He's not that kind of human.


-124-
Brad- ……… hmph. Human, huh? Right.
Sensei- However, let us get some of what we do know straightened out. Your confrontation with Knives has yet to reach a conclusion, correct? ……… The Fifth Moon Incident being your second encounter with him. The similarities between that Incident and the disappearance of July 8 years ago are unmistakable.
Vash- Heh…… I'm no match for you, Sensei.
Sensei- Did it…… happen again? Did all your memories of the incident disappear this time as well?
Vash- ……………no.


-125-
Vash- Knives'…… his hand is … stretching… towards me… After that part my memory fragments and scatters, but… a piecemeal vision and an unshakable belief deep in my soul--- I know…… the one who carved that hole in the fifth moon………… is ME.


-126-
Vash- Knives knows secrets about my body that even I don't know. I can't even guess at what they are. Likely, both of the incidents are a result of that knowledge.
Brad's heard enough. in a flash he's across the table, balled fists wrapped in Vash's shirt-front hiking him up to the tips of his toes, bringing him almost nose to nose with the much taller human.
Brad- Hey, hold it! Whoa! So doesn't that make the real disaster-plague here you?!
Sensei- Enough, Brad.
Brad- Well?! Doesn't it?
Sensei- Brad!
Vash- Yeah…… it's a possibility.


-127-
Brad- No kidding. No kidding! Who the hell'd talk that kind of risky…
Sensei- We both know all this already, Brad. Yet we have no choice but to depend on him. The only one who has stood against Him this whole time, the one who can't leave, who comes back even from the dead, is that gentle man right there.
Vash- Won't you trust me? Please? Brad.
he tries to withstand it, but gruff though he is Brad is at heart a good guy. Vash's open and pleading eyes do the trick, though Brad wouldn't admit the fact under extreme torture.
Brad- …………


-128-
Brad- "Ones who live outside of Time", huh……… in 13 years, though my hands have grown this big, you… you haven't changed at all. Not at all.


-129-
Brad drops Vash and spins around, stomping out the door in an exaggerated huff. he pauses in the doorway, spins back and points angrily at Vash.
Brad- Everyone in the older generation may trust you, but to me you still don't cut it!
Vash rubs at his sore throat, looking out the now empty doorway.
Sensei-…… my apologies.
Vash- 's okay.
Sensei- Half of him is scared to death of you. Coming face-to-face with a legend unnerves everybody.
Vash- That's true. From the viewpoint of a normal human, I have to look like a monster.


-130-
Sensei- But that's just half of him. He's quite smitten with Jessica, and it seems that he confessed as much to her just a little while ago.
//flashback//
Jessica- I'm soo~~rry, but I'm going to be Vash's wife.
Brad- !!!
Sensei- That's probably the leftover half, kekekekekeke… But…
who knows from where he produced it, but the Sensei pulls out a very sleek, very twisted and grotesquely beautiful implement that terminates in a needle and looks like it needs to get way too well acquainted with one's body than makes me remotely comfortable. brrr.
Sensei- Let us begin the "surgery".


-131-
far across the city, a fiery cloud plumes to the sky, a deafening crash following shortly afterwards. Vash and the Sensei both look up in extreme startlement, a box full of nasty looking surgical tools clattering to the floor. a scream echoes up from outside, and Vash dashes to the window, scanning for the cause.
Bystander- What's going on?!


-132-
somewhere, a bell clangs, uniformed legs and booted feet tromping in formation, headed for the accident-a large armored vehicle has run straight into the broadside of the "Mubra". hordes of people have already started to gather.
Authoritative Voice- Explain the situation.
Subordinate- Yessir. At 14:05, that armored car rammed into the Orca class sandsteamer currently moored here. A group of approximately 10 men was sighted boarding the sandsteamer. Among the listed passengers aboard the sandsteamer is Shidan of the Polo Family…
the rat-tat-tat of gunfire goes off inside the steamer and the by-now-huge crowd, which includes Brad, gasps and points.
Bystander- Gunshots! Hey, hey this is really getting dangerous!


-133-
Brad- //thinking// Good God are these 'outsiders' barbaric!
the crowd jostles, someone trying to shove their way to the front…
Voice- 'scuze me, coming through, pardon me.
…and choosing an awfully interesting way of going about it. Wolfwood's head pokes out from underneath a woman's skirt.
Nearby Man- Hey! What do you think you're doing?!
… getting the best seat in the house, of course. ~.^ (sitting on the ground at the very front of the crowd, you hentais out there. get your minds out of the gutter.) Wolfwood pulls out a bowl of ramen and a pair of chopsticks, slurping away and ignoring the woman's furious clonk on his head.
Wolfwood- Well what do we have here? Ooh, a siege hm? … or close enough anyway. The steamer was certainly surrounded in short order. That there was a detachment of Federal troops here was just lucky. Unfortunately…
Federal "Negotiator"- Attention besieged criminals! Lay down your arms and immediately debark from the sandsteamer and we will guarantee the safety of your lives!


-134-
Federal "Negotiator"- If you're stupid, well… do you think the Polo Family will sit still over this, let alone guarantee your lives?
a person pops up from one of the steamer's top hatches, automatic clutched in his hand…
P-O'ed Gunman- SHADDAP!!!
…and promptly strafes the crowd, which then proceeds to panic and surge in all directions at once. of course, Wolfwood gets caught up in it. shortly, a familiar spiky blond head appears in the crowd…
Wolfwood- ai yai yai… ha? Ah, Tongari! Where'd you go?!
…though a river of people still flows between them. Vash hardly hears a thing from Wolfwood.
Vash- My, this has gotten really bad really fast!
Wolfwood- Are you stupid?
Vash- It'd be really great if this could be kept from becoming a REALLY nasty mess…
Wolfwood- You'll get pounded, bonehead! It's not a question of if corpses will come out of this, it's a question of how many. You go charging in there, and you'll come out a corpse too! Just look at the tension around here! Those hijackers are more than half-desperate. Listen, Tongari…


-135-
Wolfwood- These days, people's lives are nothing but one unending series of problems. There are choices--complicated and inevitably cruel-- but you only have so much time to make them. The absolute worst thing a person can do is to choose nothing, waiting for the perfect solution to present itself. While you're standing there twiddling your thumbs, everything goes to Hell. Nobody's saved. ……… You can't not choose! You think a guy who can't kill a man can save a man? Ha! We're different from gods, we're not omnipotent. There ain't any alternative but to become demons…
the swirling river of people between the two men grows thinner, neither man moving but having enough sheer presence to make everyone else move…
Vash- ……… Wolfwood…… in the end, those are just words.


-136-137-
…until the path between them is clear, and there stands The Legend. the red duster is back, the arm is back. one can be sure the Colt is back, though unseen. one can't miss the fire of sheer determination that radiates from him… Vash the Stampede is back. and Wolfwood is just now realizing this.
Wolfwood- You……… that red coat!
Vash- Right now, people may die over there. To me, that is a very serious matter.

VASH THE STAMPEDE

…and given this much time, the crowd starts to realize it too. the two gunmen suddenly realize they're in the middle of a wide-eyed circle of townsfolk.


-138-
Vash- //looking at townsfolk// ……… yes?
Bold Woman- Hey, would you two just cut it out? This town is already stressed to the max, it doesn't need you to stir things up even more, you disaster-prone weirdo!
Vash- …………disaster-prone? ::me?:: ……stir things up…..?
::Wolfwood- SNICKER::
Vash- //looks at Wolfwood//
Wolfwood- //straight-faced innocence//
Vash- That's it!
Wolfwood- "That's it?" Waitaminute, you… no, don't!!
Vash slings up the Colt with a flare and fires it into the air, a really, really crazy-insane look on his face.


-139-
this, of course, gets the instant attention of the whole crowd.
Wolfwood-  o.O
Vash- My name is VASH THE STAMPEDE!! All of a sudden, and for no particular reason whatsoever, I'm going to start a massacre!!
Wolfwood-  O.O
Brad-  o.O;;  //thinking// What the hell? What in the world is he touching off now?!


-140-
Vash- Japanese gentlemen step up please!!
Crowd- kyaaaa~~~~
Sensei- …… so he's begun.
Brad- Sensei!
Sensei- Watch carefully. These are the methods of the man on whom our fate rests.
looking for all the world like an asylum escapee, Vash is chasing the hysteric hordes of people this way and that, randomly firing into the air and making the craziest faces.
::crowd- gaaa~~sp! run run run run! we'll be killed! You worthless bastard!:: and from somewhere in the middle…. "moron!"::
Brad- …… All I'm seeing is a complete nutcase, Sensei.
Sensei- ………………!
Vash- //to the reader// The real fun starts after this!


#4 HERO RETURNS/End

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